Content Warning: This post contains references of abuse, violence, assault, and exploitation. It may be distressing for many readers. Please prioritize your well-being before proceeding.
Finding My Voice Again
I used to love writing. I’ve been in a long season–well, many seasons– where there just hasn’t been space for it. There has been an almost primal need to express my experience through writing that has grown unbearable over the last several years, and tonight, I finally sat down to put some things into words– both for myself and because I feel a responsibility to. This will be the first of many raw reflections as I continue my own learning and growth and invite others to join the conversation so we can all learn together.
The Overwhelm: A Call to Speak Out
I want to make note that there have been countless topics and situations that have overwhelmed me with a need to speak out–or better yet, shout out before today. I aim to use my voice and presence in this world every day to advocate, but there is something powerful about the written word, isn’t there?
White supremacy, racism, christian nationalism, healthcare, murders excused and supported by people in authority, bombing schools and refugee camps, protection of high profile p*dophiles, lies by those we are told to trust, blatant disregard to our constitution, active betrayal and harm to our neighbors and allies, children being taken from their families, illegal deportations while insurrectionists are pardoned, people more upset about how someone identifies than all the things listed here…it’s overwhelming, but tonight, I finally have time to start writing again, and it is in regards to a headline that shook me to my core. There are so many layers to sift through, and I won’t be able to address them all tonight, but I have to at least begin.
When the News Lands in Your Body: 62 Million Visits
There are some headlines that don’t just stay on the screen—they land in your body, and this is one of several of those from the last month.
62,000,000 visits in one month to a website with 20,000 videos of s*xual assault.
As a trauma therapist, I’ve sat with the aftermath of sexual violence more times than I can count. I’ve seen the way it fractures safety, distorts identity, and leaves someone questioning their worth, their voice, their place in the world. I’ve seen how it destroys families for generations.
Writing as a Woman and a Mom
But today, I’m not just writing as a therapist.
I’m writing as a woman.
And as a mom raising two daughters.
And I am enraged.
I feel protective in a way that is almost hard to contain.
Because when stories like this come out—systems, spaces, or individuals that enable or normalize sexual harm—it doesn’t just feel like “news.” It feels like a reminder of how much still needs to change. It’s a reminder that safety is not something we can assume… especially for girls and women (and many other groups of people…).
And that’s a heavy thing to carry as a parent.
I think about my daughters growing up in a world where I am intentionally raising them to feel free, confident, and safe in their bodies. I want them to trust their instincts. I want them to know their voice matters, and yet, stories like this make me acutely aware of the layers of vigilance we’re still forced to hold. They aren’t safe. We are not safe in a world where a man who publicly brags about grabbing women by their p*ssy and doing “anything” to them is elected to represent us– by fathers. It has felt so baffling to see people who educated me in sexual morality and the importance of what constitutes a good and righteous leader actively supporting government officials who openly objectify women…more to come on this.
Shocking but expected
In a culture where the objectification of women is normalized and where men accused of s*xual assault by countless victims remain in leadership, this can’t be anything but expected. As shocking as it is, especially when it’s a number that’s approximately 50% of the adult male population in this country, this is what happens when people aren’t held accountable and to higher standards of respect and dignity for other humans.This is what happens when our government uses technology to track down and hunt humans deemed as “illegals” rather than tracking down men involved in the exploitation of children and uploading r*pe videos.
To survivors reading this:
What happened to you was not your fault.
There is nothing about you that invited, caused, or justified harm. R*pe happens to women wearing mini skirts and to women wearing burkas.
Your body and your voice are yours.
To parents:
This is your reminder that the conversations matter. The ongoing ones. The uncomfortable ones. The age-appropriate but honest ones about boundaries, consent, and trusting their inner voice.
To men:
Your silence is deafening.
When a coworker makes a comment.
When a coach minimizes something.
When a doctor crosses a line in conversation.
When a friend, a gym buddy, a family member says something that isn’t okay—and you say nothing–or even laugh it off.
That silence isn’t neutral.
It lands as permission.
It lands as protection of the person causing harm.
It lands as abandonment to the person on the receiving end.
It’s not just about what was said or done.
It’s about who stays quiet.
It takes very little to interrupt harm. A look. A shift in tone. A simple, “That’s not okay.”
But when nothing is said, the message is loud and clear.
The truth is hard, but it matters:
Harm doesn’t continue only because of those who do it.
It continues because the people who know better choose comfort over courage.
You have to be willing to be uncomfortable.
Because your voice—especially in those moments—has power.
To my fellow women:
I know we are tired.
Tired of calculating safety.
Tired of second-guessing our instincts.
Tired of wondering if we’re overreacting or if something really was off.
Tired of carrying stories—our own and others’—that never should have happened to us.
If this news brought something up in your body, you’re not alone.
If it made you feel angry, heavy, anxious, or numb—there’s nothing wrong with you. It means you’re alive. You don’t have to minimize it.
And you don’t have to carry it silently.
Stay connected to your voice.
Stay connected to each other.
Believe yourself. Believe other women.
And when you can—keep modeling for the next generation what it looks like to trust your instincts, to hold boundaries, and to take up space in a world that has too often asked and often tried to force us to shrink.
The Next Generation is Watching: Accountability Matters
Neutrality cannot be an option when it comes to harming others. Apathy can be enticing, but we must not stop screaming about this until we are safe, until our kids are safe, until the dignity of our other fellow human beings is safe- regardless of differences. It’s about basic human decency and a commitment and active choice to be courageous enough to say “no” in the face of evil.
When powerful people are named and nothing happens… we notice.
When names tied to the Epstein files surface, and accountability never seems to follow… we notice.
When male professional athletes are repeatedly given passes, minimized consequences, or second chances without real accountability… we notice.
And so do our daughters. And so do our sons–the next generation of men who will either pick up the torch from the fathers voting an adjudicated r*pist into office and actively supporting him and others convicted, and continue the r*pe culture we live in–or they’ll be men strong enough to advocate for–and demand–equality and safety for women and all people.
They are learning, in real time, whose harm matters—and whose doesn’t.
Our children are growing up right now, watching, learning, and forming their sense of what is safe, what is acceptable, and what they deserve.
And they deserve so much better than this.
* There is so much more to be said. The statistics regarding white males vs males of color accused and held accountable. The way some will read this as political instead of ethical and moral. The way my heart for peace and a longing to create a safe space for people to navigate these topics from different perspectives will be overlooked because when it comes to harming others, there isn't room for tolerance. The way we must also hold space for males and other members of the LGBTQ+ community who also suffer from s* xual assault at alarming rates as well. May the discussions continue, and may anyone reading this know that your voice matters, and that it is of utmost importance to me to hire professionals at Mosaics Counseling who are committed to creating a safe space for you.
If You Need Support: Our Team Is Here
If reading this has brought up feelings of anger, anxiety, heaviness, or past pain, please know that you do not have to carry this silently or alone. Taking a step toward processing and healing is an act of profound courage.
At Mosaics Counseling, our team is committed to creating a safe and affirming space for you to navigate trauma and find wholeness. We specialize in research-based, trauma-focused approaches, including EMDR, Trauma Model Therapy, Somatic Practices, and more.
If you are ready to begin your healing journey, our professional clinicians are here to support you.